you can't get past anything by just yourself. at some point you will face a barrier and need help. help can come in a variety forms. chaos, nature, drugs or other people, or physical pain, or emotional feeling crisis. a shock to the system, something to shake the foundation of routine out of you. it will happen, it always happens. there's no need to even press it or consider it. you'll keep breaking an infinite number of times until you die and break for real. because all the breaking before is just a way to change and grow, to experience as much as you can before the end comes.